So your marriage isn’t what you thought it would be, isn’t what you want it to be, or maybe it’s already over. You signed the papers and stood over its grave- maybe in a cemetery lined with divorce statistics, mulched by legal fees, or maybe you just imagined it so many times it feels real. But God has a history of raising life from the dead. And I’ve seen Him resurrect so many marriages, including mine. I know He can raise yours too if you’ll let Him.
Not many people really talk about their marriages. We are wired to zip up, to tuck away, to stifle, to pretend, to live in denial. But we can’t fight for marriages if we can’t even talk about it. And if we can’t talk about it, perhaps we don’t realize we all face the same issues in life- just different combinations of them.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Your marriage problems are not unique. Yes, some of those people who faced what you face chose divorce. And maybe they turned out ok, eventually. But God doesn’t want you to choose divorce. And even if you choose to stay, He doesn’t want you to have a mediocre marriage either. God didn’t hang His Son from a cross so you could have a so-so life.
Choose to fight for your marriage, not in it.
God set a fire within you and He’s asking you to stoke it and turn it into victory. He wants you to suit up for battle and win your marriage. He wants to give you strength and power and weaponry to push you through the war zone and carry you up the mountain so you can look back on how far you have come together. But in order to get up there, you have to change your right here.
You have circled this mountain long enough; now turn north. Deuteronomy 2:3
If you want to get off the road that circles the mountain and on the one that leads to the top, you have to believe the road to the top exists. Even if the entirety of your belief is no bigger than a mustard seed.
And you have to choose to fight for your marriage, not in it. The world is wired to pull you apart from your spouse. So wake up every day ready to fight against the world for your marriage and not against your spouse.
So reach out and hug him, even when you’re still mad. Stop replaying things over and over in your mind that only happened once. Believe people can change and stop listening to those who say they can’t and don’t and won’t, because they can and they have and they do. Give up what you think you want and get ready for what God wanted all along.
When I said I do, I wasn’t saying yes to an ordinary marriage.
If you want to talk about your marriage with someone, not just anyone, but someone who truly wants your marriage to live and breathe and thrive and blossom and multiply, then I want to be your someone. I really do. If you want to learn how to truly forgive your spouse or even yourself, then I want to point you to God who can and already has through his son Jesus.
If it freaked you out to even run your eyes over the name God or Jesus, it’s ok. It’s normal to think it’s crazy to need God and Jesus. But it’s also normal for couples to divorce. When I said I do, I wasn’t saying yes to an ordinary marriage, so I had to change my thinking to get an extraordinary one.
We don’t escape our problems; we fight them until they escape us.
If you have any fight left in you, good. You’re going to need it to pivot.
If you don’t have any fight left in you, yet the deepest darkest parts of your heart would cry out I wish I could go back and do things differently if you let them, then hold on. Grip that shred of hope and get down on your knees and pray to God for strength. You don’t have to know how He’s going to bring your marriage back from the dead; you just have to believe He can.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Certain people taught us how to fight for our marriage. They were our way out, our escape hatch. And we relearned how to love. Now, we don’t escape our problems; we fight them until they escape us. I’ll be here on Sundays sharing what those certain people shared with us and how it changed everything. I hope you’ll join me.